Mom's Master Shopping Survivial Guide Feb 24 2008

The night before

Clean out the fridge

Make your list ( have Dad control the natives while you do this, hide in the bathroom, threaten NO DORA, whatever it takes)


Before even leaving the house:

Prepare a plate of lunch for each child.

Make sure that diaper bag is stocked with wipes, diapers, bottle, a little snack, toy and book for each chld,a change of clothes for each child and the list you have prepared ( NOTE: preparing the list while Dad can take care of kids ensures everyones survival before during and after shopping)

Everyone takes a bathroom break, MOM TO! this may be the point of NO RETURN for you!!!!

Has the baby been changed recently, been offered a bottle recently

Do you have your billfold?

Does the bill fold have your Credit Card and some cash in it?

While in the Car:

For older children: remind them they are your good helpers and you need them very much, when making your list plan on things that they can reach off the shelves but not destroy
* good things for them to help with: bagels, boxes of ceral, diapers, toothpaste * BAD things for them to help with: eggs, bread ( SMOOSH!!) , milk, chips ( CRUSH)

Review Awana verses, sing the ABCs, sing silly songs like Dad does ( remember that you are not as cool as Dad and depending on the day this may not go very well)

Getting out of the car at parking lot:

WARNING: PEOPLE IN PARKING LOTS ARE NOT LOOKING FOR SHORT PEOPLE, THEY ARE NOT OVER ALL LOOKING AT ALL AS THEY DRIVE CROSS WAYS ACROSS THE PARKING LOT TO SPEED TO THE NEAREST CLOSEST PARKING SPOT, GIVING THEM THE "MOMMA BEAR" LOOK WILL NOT CHANGE THEM

Take each child out of the car individually while the others are still strapped in. Secure each child in the cart and then get another, repeat until all children are in the cart

Make sure you have your diaper bag, and billfold.


Inside the Store

Give each child a toy or book

Circle the outside of the grocery section of the store first, getting your meat, cheese and veggies.

Change the toy that each child has,

This is the point where you give your older child a "list" of things to get. This action will required you to let your child out of the cart if you haven't already. A hard and fast rule to ingrain in your child is the "hand on the cart" rule. When they are not in the cart they MUST keep one hand on the cart at all times. They may remove the hand ONLY if they have your permission. ENFORCE THIS RULE AT ALL COSTS!!

After getting everything on your list, head to the check out counter. Look for a cashier who seems to have it together. Maybe a "mom" looking gal who will perhaps talk to your children, entertaining them a bit, always helpful. Also at this point, break out the snacks you brought. NEVER EVER EVER buy your children a toy while they are with you at the store, this advances you to the SUDDEN DEATH ROUND ..........oh and by the way EVERYONE LOSES in that round!!!

After sucsessfully checking out gather everyone close and head for the car

Observe all rules for getting out of the car in the parking lot when getting into the car

When at Home:

When you arrive home, no matter who is crying or fussing, leave your children in the car while you power through taking in and putting away the groceries. They will cry whether they are in or out of the car, and think of all the things they need RIGHT NOW. Better to have them in the car STRAPPED IN, than hanging on your legs making a 15 minutes job take 45 minutes.

After putting away the groceries, bring in the children, turn on a story to listen to and eat lunch. Its probably then nap time, FOR EVERYONE!!!

In the Further Adventures of Jennie In the Kitchen...... Jan 31 2008

In an attempt to vary her families diet and include more veggie Jennie decided to cook a vegaterian meal
After reading and re reading and re re reading the instructions she bravely set upon her task

To Make a Long story short........never ever deicide that mashing up chickpeas, adding seasonings and frying it as patties is a good or delicious idea, YUCK!!!! Double negative points for you if you have children in the house. Also, husbands really don't like this recipe either. Its nothing that their mama or grandma would have attempted to feed them, hahahhahaha.


So, Jennie came to the conclusion that the best way to go "veggie" is to take recipes you family already likes and make them "veggie". Following are some example ( if you haven't already guessed its almost grocery day here).



Meatless Lasagna ( i use a white sauce in place of a red sauce, just only use shredded cheese on the top, i use lots of spinach and sun dried toms)
Meatless Taco Salad ( just double the amount of beans if you feel the need for protein)
Healthy Grilled Cheese with Tomato soup ( just melt cheese between two whole wheat tortillas until the tortillas are just about crispy on the outside)
Baked potato soup with fresh baked bread
Meatless pizza ( i use lots of mushrooms, and different kinds of cheese, some spinach and sundried tomatoes, i also use basil pesto in place of red sauce, its very yummy)
Minnestronie over whole wheat noodles
Portabella Burger ( i know it sounds strange but a "grilled" portabella mushroom with some yummy cheese ( provolone) is to die for, place on a toasted bun and enjoy with a salad) SO YUMMY

please let me know if you have some yummy recipes of your own, lets share!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So as you can see its all in taking your favs and changing them up, also i find cooking like this is a little more summery than say a meatfilled lasagna......so, load on the veggies and be healthy and satisfied!!!


Love Jennie

Rachel's Guidelines for the Perfect Manicure Jan 30 2008

1. To prepare for your polish and shine trim your nails on both your hands and feet, remember to yelp "ouch" whether it hurts or not at each clip of the trimmers
2. Always pick the most obnoxious shade of pink in the closet, that way people far away will be able to see your pretty pretties
3.It is not important to stay still while getting your nails polished, thats mom's problem,
4.Wimper each time the polish misses your nail and gets on your skin
5. After the polishing is complete wiggle your hands to dry them, and your toes too ( for further instruction on wiggling see Hannah ( the Banana)
6.If you mom happens to leave the room during drying eat something like Goldfish, it makes your nails textured and MULTI COLORED!!


Enjoy!

Jennie Kotula THIS IS YOUR LIFE! Jan 29 2008

The scene is set: It is a cloudy winter day in January, the wind is blowing cold from the north and reducing the balmy 30 degree temperature to a icy 25 ( haha). Jennie Kotula sucsessfully exits the house on her way to the Doctor for a follow up for Hannah ( the Banana).

Jennie : Now remember that it is slippery and you don't have your snow suit on, so go slow to the car
Rachel: " stares off into outer space, her true home"
Jennie: Rachel did you hear me?
Rachel: Yes mama
Jennie : What did I say?
Rachel: " smiles deviously"
Jennie: Are you listening to me now?
Rachel: " still smiling deviously" Yes mama
Jennie: go slow to the car its icy

The three Kotula women make their way to the blue rocket car

Rachel: Look mama, i am a cheetah ( Thanks Diego, no really THANKS) " rachel takes off running and slips on the ice resulting in full frontal wetness and tears
Jennie: Rachel quick get up before you get more wet
Rachel: I am wet and cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob sob sob
Jennie: reaches out to give Rach a hand up,
Rachel: mama hold me!!!!!!!!!!!! ( keep in mind Jennie is holding a car seat, diaper bag and the books and kitty Rachel insisted on bringing in the car)


The women finally get in the car and buckel up, Rachel is covered in a blanket cause she is cold, Hannah is laughing cause Rachel is cold
They arrive at the Drs Office

Jennie: Now Rachel remember that its icy here to, go slow
Rachel: Look Chicky Fries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All three are out of the car and prepared to cross the street to Dr Nicks

Rachel: Look mama I am a bunny ( Rachel proceeds to jump like a bunny and then fall down, this time on her butt)
Rachel: Mama hold me
Jennie: I can hold your hand

Rachel and Jennie Hold hands and begin to step off the curb

Jennie: be careful Rach there is a big puddle beside the curb mama will lift you over 1.....2.......
Rachel : SPLASH mama my socks are all wet!!!!!!!!!!!sob sob sob
Jennie: We will take off your socks and you can go bare footsies in the building
Rachel : MY SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sob sob sob
Hannah: giggle giggle

The ever resourceful Jennie enters the building and pulls out a dry pair of socks, while talking with the secretary and unbuckleing Hannah ( the Banana).
All is well
Join us next time for

SHOPPING IN WALMART

Things I learned this past week: Jan 28 2008

1 Do not under any circumstances give your 3 year old a Dora bottle of glue hoping that she won't use the whole thing on a singular art project

2 Pay attention while vacumming, that way you won't ram your toes into the edge of a wall, OUCH

3 Instead of giving your artist a glass of water to clean his or her brushes during painting, designate a cup and brush for each color that way less watery mess

4 Go SUPER slow between the intersection of 17 and 45 on the way to the YMCA its always slippery, no matter how hard your baby is yelling go at least 10 under the speed limit

5 Resist the temptation to buy a small pet, DO NOT GET A SMALL PET, as Pooh would say THINK THINK THINK

6 Its ok to leave laundry and dishes and spend some quality time with your girls, its makes everyone very happy and it feels so good to laugh

7 Do not pick up the sled when the rider still occupies the sled facing the other direction on all fours ( pretending to be a kitty in a sled) because picking the sled up will cause the rider to plant his or her face directly in the snow, NOT A HAPPY TIME

8 Even if your 8 month old laughs when her big sister is having a fake fit it will not help the situation if you start laughing to, ( laugh later when they are not looking).


Hope you all have a super day, I am sure i will have more in the week to come HAHAHA

Love Jennie